The main aim in life is to be happy. However, we find even the most successful people depressed and unsatisfied with life. If you are also struggling with something similar, this article will surely help you find happiness!
We are humans, and we are all fighting our own battles. Often we find ourselves frustrated with the situations, knowing no way to cope up with it. Even as teenagers, we find it difficult to cope up with the studies, and with all the events taking place at the same time, we end up being snuffed by life. However, being happier is far easier than one may think. And if you want to know the art, you have come to the right place!
Let us begin with asking ourselves a brief question.
Why Am I Not Happy?
You may be unsatisfied with your exam scores, you may be unsatisfied with your job, you may unsatisfied with the lifestyle you are living. You may have faced a breakup with a friend or in a relation, you may have been betrayed or been cheated upon. Maybe your parents misunderstand you, or you got into a fight with them a while ago. There are numerous reasons which take away our happiness. The first step is to figure out what actually is taking away our happiness.
The best way to find out what is taking away your sadness is to take a paper and a pen, and then sit down in a dark room, and then interrogate yourself. Many of us feel sad or low at times, with absolutely no idea of what is making us feel this way. Many a times, we over-prioritize situations. We often overthink, creating problems that aren’t even there. Once you have realized what actually is taking away your happiness, be it anything, you can now start with the second step.
How Am I My Biggest Enemy?
Remember. Happiness starts with you. Not with your relationship, or your friends, or with your job. But with you.
People don’t know this, and are often too adamant to admit it. But the real enemy of ones happiness is one self. There is a saying which goes like this, “Happiness is a choice”. One cannot be happy if they base their happiness on external situations. The real reaper of peace and happiness is not the situations themselves, but ones negative attitude and approach towards the situations. Developing a mindset to handle situations with a tender approach instead of anger or receiving negative remarks and discourages with a positive attitude is the real key to be happy.
Every time we hate on someone, become angry or frustrated with someone, become vengeful, hold a grudge or want to inflict pain on the other person for our satisfaction, we are actually ripping ourselves off of our happiness. Here is a short story about some prisoners.
Once in a country far away, there was an evil king who had imprisoned citizens who he thought had rebelled against him. Some of them were innocent captives. Later, two innocent captives were released after five years of imprisonment. One of the captives was so angered by this, that he wanted to take revenge. The other captive however, decided to go beyond far shores, to preach what he had learned by the other prisoners. When the second captive was about to depart on his ship, the first captive came running to him, and asked him to join his rebellion. However, the first captive met with a refusal. Shocked and infuriated, he asked the second captive in anger, “how can you not help me to fight against someone who destroyed five precious years of our lives!?”. In a calm and tender manner, the second captive replied, “Even after all this time, if you are yet angered by what he did to you, he still has you imprisoned.”
We can scream, we can hate, we can try to change the other person as to what we see fit for ourselves, but one thing we forget is that it takes our peace of mind away, and never really produces any results. The second step is to take a small pause, before shouting, before screaming, before blaming the situations or the external world, only to analyze how it will take away your peace of mind. People forget this, that what you give out eventually returns to you. You cannot expect to be showered with happiness if all you let out is hate and criticism.
What Can I Do To Be Happy?
After you have realized that happiness lies in you, the next part is to practice these everyday –
- Spread Happiness – Be the one to encourage every single person. Make distance with those who drag you down, but that does not mean you become rude to them. Understand them and motivate them. They also have unheard struggles! Make people happy with your actions. No matter who, try your best to spread happiness, especially to those who are willing to go out of their way to make you happy. It is not possible to make everyone happy and you will disappoint people, and that’s okay. What you should really try is that you achieve that state in life where you spread the aura of happiness. You cannot make others happy around you if you are the one who is unhappy. Be cheerful to everyone, when you feel low, reach out to someone. Even the strongest people need someone to understand them!
- Be Kind – When things don’t preferably go the right way in life, and keeps you low, the best way is to help someone out! Always be willing to help people out, no matter who. Everyone has their own battles to face. We often categorize people with an unkind label. We often term disappointing people as jerks. But we never realize, that we only get to spend a few minutes, or hours at best with these jerks in a day. But that jerk has to deal with himself the whole day, everyday for his entire life. So be kind to everyone. Respect other peoples emotions. Before being unkind, put yourself in the other peoples shoes.
- Have Gratitude – Be grateful for everything that you have. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t aim for more, but just be happy that you a device on which you are reading this on. We forget all the small things in life, only to realize them when they are gone. Be grateful every morning, no matter however your life maybe, be grateful that you get to see another day! Real motivation comes when you are grateful for the things around you. If you have a roof, have food to eat, have parents or friends to support you, have people who look after you and care for you, then mark my words – you are the as lucky as you could be.
- Don’t be vengeful – people may be unfair, unkind, hateful or discouraging towards you. But never get vengeful. Hurting the other persons feelings will never make you happy. All you create is a bad cause. It is okay to be silent when someone disagrees with you, hates you or spreads around negative rumors about you. People can always be too foolish to think of the rumors to be true. Let it be. Only wish happiness for the person who does you bad. This can be the hardest thing, but let that ego go and you will see the magical powers of this practice! Remember, people might think that you are doing bad to them, or they may misunderstand you, but you do not have to prove to everyone that you are doing right, there is a saying, invisible virtues have visible rewards.
- Do what you love – true happiness comes when you get rid of the people or circumstances that only make you unhappy. Be ready to go against the world in order to do what you love. Once you do what you love and work hard for it, you will be overwhelmed by happiness. Doing things that makes a positive change in the society will bring happiness to you and in turn bring happiness to others. It is a cycle, when you are happy, you make others happy, and when you make others happy, the happiness comes back to you!
- Don’t be a prisoner to your emotions – Emotions are like waves in the ocean. Sometimes they are too noisy and sometimes there are none. DO NOT misunderstand emotions as you. Emotions are only present in the brain. And what are emotions made up of? Nothing. We give emotions the wait, only to over-prioritize and overthink the situations. Just like waves, the emotions pass away. They never stay forever. It is the law of the universe that everything has to pass. Do not confuse your emotions for yourself. You never are sad or depressed, you are just experiencing sadness or depression. An ocean is not its waves, it is much deeper. The ocean only expresses the waves as it passes. The oceans are never the waves, they just experience waves until they pass away. Similarly, let emotions pass, do not give them importance and attention, or try to ignore them. Both of them will only escalate its power. Just focus on what you are doing and let it pass.
Remember these 3 steps always, to realize what makes you unhappy, to realize that your reaction and attitude towards the situation is what decides your happiness, and to follow the practices stated above to live a happy life. In the end, always remember that you are worthy of infinite happiness! Happiness is a choice! It will come to everyone who base it not on the external situations, but in themselves.
Invisible virtues have visible rewards.