In today’s life we form a lot of bonds, be it as friends or relationships. However, these bonds vanquish due to betrayal, less attention and several other reasons. It can be really difficult to cope up with such separations. The overflow of emotions really devastates one. We often do not have an idea as to how we should be moving on.
Lets be honest, we all have had breakups, and separations in our lives. We all feel dropped down and we feel like it’s very hard to get back up. If you have met such a tragedy in life and want to overcome the hurt, then you have landed on the right page! Here, we help you understand and give you the way out of the pain that the separation or breakups causes!
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Whenever we face a betrayal or a separation, it really hurts bad. Some common separations are caused due to,
- Someone breaking your trust
- Someone not respecting your opinions
- Someone not accepting you as you
- Things weren’t working out
- Their selfish needs weren’t fulfilled
There can be a lot of other reasons as to why the separations were caused. When it is a strong bond, it generally hurts as it is a survival instinct. Yep, you got it right! It is a survival instinct that is instilled in us humans (and many other animals!) to ensure reproduction! When we breakup, the same part of the brain starts functioning which perceives physical pain! This is the reason why breakups hurt like physical pain. This is the reason why we obsess on our partners even after they are gone! It is really important to understand that all the sadness that you experience is caused due to scientific reasons! Do not confuse it to be something that is unknown or incurable. It can be cured! It takes time and efforts but it eventually heals!
In certain scenarios, our trust is broken. In this case, we find it hard to trust anyone in the aftermath! We need to understand that the betrayals and breakups are a part of life! They are hurtful-true, but they are also extremely important! We will discuss further exactly as to why they are so important!
How To Move On?
Here I will describe extremely effective ways that will help you move on!
Understand These Are A Part Of Life
I understand that they have been really painful. Someone who promised will stick with you uptil the end of time, eventually broke your trust. It can be really hard to forgive such people and move on from the hurt. But you have to understand, these are normal, and happen in almost everyone’s life! I had a lot of them too! Earlier they did use to affect me, but then I observed and realized that the pain that is caused, eventually turns into something beautiful. When you struggle your way through the pain, you realize that it all happened for a reason – to teach you something.
You may not see it in the first place, but whatever wrong that happened, actually happened to you for your welfare in the long run! The pain teaches you important lessons. Life’s best lessons are learnt through pain. When you are suffering form such a situation, the first step is to accept whatever took place. You have to accept that whatever took place was the harsh reality, and now it’s time to move on! The next step is to know, that it may be really unfair and cruel, but whatever took place happened for a reason. You may not be able to see it in the first place, or perceive why it happened, but everything happens for a reason. Embrace the pain, and believe that in time you will be glad that it happened!
Forgive The Other Person
Read my article The Art Of Being Happy before proceeding for a better insight.
Forgive the other person. I know how angry one feels when their trust is broken, but please forgive for your own peace! I believe that whatever wrong you do to others, returns to you in accurate ways. It is the law of the nature. If someone has wronged you, nature will take care of it. Forgive them, and try moving on! It may feel to you that there is no other person you can trust, but it isn’t so. No two people are the same, there are many loyal people out there!
Take it this way, whatever they did to you was wrong, but if you were them, you would have done the same thing! If you were born in the same family and environment, treated and raised the same way, if you had the same level of consciousness, then you would have done the same. They must have been through something in their lives that made them this sour. Forgive them, and wish their happiness. The last step is really important, wish the best for them! At the end of the day, everyone wants to be happy. Their definition of happiness may have hurt you, but all they did want was to make themselves happy.
Understand Not Everyone Is There To Stay
In this journey of life, we meet a lot of people and we make a lot of friends. We form bonds, some break painfully and some fade away in time. It is all part of life. You do not meet people by accident. They come in your way to teach you something. That is how life works! Life is more philosophical than one thinks! It may be scary that the person you love might not be the person you will spend your life with, but please do not let it insecure you that they may leave! Those who are meant to be with you will always stay with you. They may drift away but eventually they will find their way back to you. Entrust this on life, and you will find yourself at ease. Trust the nature, it always maintains order. It will do what is best for you, you may not like it or even hate it, but it is all for your best!
If you have the courage to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.
Know It Will Heal As Time Progresses
It hurts bad, and you feel it will hurt this bad forever, but take my words, it won’t. Time heals everything. Go out, meet new friends, reach out to people. Time will make you forget everything and stitch those stabbed wounds. It will make you forget whatever happened. You may feel that the impression of this incident will remain in your hearts for a long time. But it is never so! It has been 8 months, and I can tell you how I feel nothing of the previous best friends or relations when I think about them. They separated, and at that time I did think they will remain forever, but they didn’t! It all heals, be patient. Give yourself the love you deserve. Spend time with yourself and love yourself, because above all, you are the one who you are going to spend the rest of your life with!
Remember you met them for a reason, it has been hard on you, but that is life. It doesn’t seem fair. It seems to take more than it gives back, which may be true, but the amount it gives is all that we needs. Pain is your best friend, it teaches you many important lessons the hard way. Life can be like a roller-coaster. Ups and Downs is the other name of life. Please know, and as Billie Joe Armstrong said, that it is something unpredictable, but in the end its right.
We Live Life Enduring Loss. It Is Not A Question But A Lesson Learnt In Time.
I would recommend you to check out this amazing book on Amazon, How To Get Over Your Breakup: The Definitive Guide To Recovering From A Breakup and Moving On With Life – Rachel Adamson , It is absolutely free for Kindle!